Alpha Papa

The path to stardom has never been a smooth one for Alan. Indeed, to describe it as a tad bumpy would be akin to referring to the stretch of road between Trumpery Lane and A47 Norwich Southern Bypass as not full of potholes. It’s a nightmare and plays havoc with the suspension on a Rover 800.

Anyway…After starting out on hospital radio Alan (slowly) worked his way through local radio until his breakthrough on Radio 4 as the charismatic (not my words) host of his own chat show. After a stint on TV as a sports reporter he reprised his Radio 4 role on the BBC. Despite a death, Homophobic slurs, a drug scandal and many other trials (not criminal – Alan would like me to stress this) ratings were dire (poor scheduling) and the show was (cruelly) axed after one season. found himself back at Radio Norwich but took the maverick step (he wasn’t pushed) into the digital era to host Mid Morning Matters on North Norfolk Digital (North Norfolk’s foremost digital channel). Now, with a highly successful (he says so himself) autobiography behind him, Alan takes his first step onto the big screen.

North Norfolk Digital is set to be re-branded as Shape (not a triangle), and the management are looking to make changes. When ageing college (Pat Farrell) losing his job (quite rightly) he takes matters into his own hands, storming the building and taking the staff hostage. Fortunately Alan isn’t onsite at the time, but puts all concerns for safety aside to be the link between Pat and the police; becoming the face of the incident (or Siege Face if you please).

Many of the old faces return with the ever-loyal Lynn in attendance and Michael swapping the forecourt for the high octane career as a radio station security guard. It’s also great to hear Dave Clifton returning to the air following his long (and boring) battle with addiction. You’ll be pleased to hear that whilst Alan has been magnanimous enough to bring-in a co-host (Sidekick Simon), Alpha Papa is his baby. And what a bonny lad it is.

Alan shows that he has all the makings of a film star, making Al Pacino look like Deirdre Barlow (not literally, that would be stupid). As he manfully saves the day whilst keeping his manhood under wraps (you had to be there) and getting the girl, it can only be a matter of time until a glowing career in Hollywood beckons. Everyone else is alright (even Pat), and our hero avoids the pitfalls encountered by many who take the step-up to the big screen from television (radio). Eat that Bean!

Alpha Papa is out now at the Showroom. BYOT (Bring Your Own Toblerone)

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